Obsessions
by jakers75
Summary: After a confrontation of differing ideologies is forced between mage Hawke and Fenris, they gain valuable insights into both themselves and each other. Rated T for brief violence.


_**I always wished Fenris and mage Hawke were allowed to have more conversations in-game. I thought the potential for a very unique dynamic was there, but I wasn't quite satisfied. That's what fanfic is for, though! Just so it's mentioned, all the wonderful characters belong to Bioware and I don't own anything in this story. With that said, enjoy, and thanks for reading!**_

Merrill gathered the energy in her hand – although she felt exhausted, the fight was almost finished. She could feel the entropic energy crackle in the air all about her, and was about to unleash it on the last man standing when she felt Marian Hawke's hand on her shoulder.

"Hold on," the mage commanded her softly as she pulled Merrill to her side.

"What? Why?"

Marian turned her gaze from the stumbling soldier to Merrill as she grinned. "You'll see."

Merrill doubted many things, but never Hawke. Wordlessly she released the energy and stood to move behind Hawke. Just in case.

"What are we watching?" And just as she very often did, Isabela appeared on Hawke's other side with no warning whatsoever.

"Shhh," Merrill whispered.

"I don't see the – Wait. Oooooh."

They three women watched with a mixture of awe and horror as the last soldier standing exploded into bloody pieces.

Hawke watched her handiwork and was beginning to laugh when one final companion made his presence known.

"What's going on here?" Fenris strode up as he spoke, still gripping his large, two handed sword.

"I, uhh…"

"You know those crazy soldiers and their bombs," Isabela laughed quickly, "always thinking they can deal with what's in their – "

"Hawke? Have you been placing bombs again?"

"Noooo," the woman replied as she shifted her eyes. As fate decreed though, a piece of flesh chose that exact moment to land between elf and mage with a sickening, squishing sound.

Fenris raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, fine! Yes!" Hawke threw her hands up in the air. "But what do you expect? I could just run up and hit them in the head with my staff if you prefer. _That_ would totally work."

"Now I'd like to see that!" Isabela piped up. When both Hawke and Fenris turned to glare, she shrugged. "What?"

"It's not right to use magic like that," Fenris seethed quietly, "They don't have a chance against you! "

"When _they_ start playing fair, you let me know." Hawke stepped closer to the warrior elf. Merrill suddenly felt much less secure, and she inched towards Isabela as the argument escalated.

"You haven't seen what magic can do to people! It can make them do horrible things!. No one should have the right to that power!"

"Fenris, I thought we agreed this wouldn't be an issue." Although she was getting even closer to the elf, Hawke holstered her weapon. The same couldn't be said of Fenris.

"But you never listen! Mages need to be-"

"You believe I should just turn myself in and let my life be dictated by the Circle? I thought you of all people would understand."

By now, Hawke had dropped any trace of her usual humor. Merrill wasn't sure what to do, and she felt much better when Isabela placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You have no right to bring that up," Fenris snarled in response.

"It was barely last month we went and killed the magister woman! I risked the lives of my friends to do so. I'll be damned if that's not my business in at least some way."

"Perhaps I was mistaken in bringing a _mage_ with me." He was almost yelling now.

At this point, Merrill moved forward to defend Hawke, but Isabela's tightened her grip on the elf's shoulder. All she could do was watch hopelessly as Hawke stared her companion down.

"Perhaps it was. Is there anything else you wish to say?" Hawke was now stone cold.

Wordlessly and abruptly, Fenris sheathed his weapon and walked away. The three women watched until he passed a corner and out of sight. Only then did Hawke finally relax her shoulders, rub her temples, and sigh.

"Hawke, I'm sorry, I think that if you just talk to him he'll –"

"It's late," Isabela interjected quickly, acting as if nothing had happened, "How about we all head home?"

Hawke turned to nod slowly at her friends.

"Here, I'll walk Merrill home," Isabela continued as she patted the elf's shoulder gently, "You know where to find us."

Hawke nodded once more before Isabela began to walk Merrill away. They had just cleared Lowtown of gangs, at least for the night, so it was relatively safe for them to split up.

"Why can't they just talk? They're not going to get anywhere by yelling at each other." Merrill looked up at Isabela when they were finally out of sight of their leader.

The pirate sighed softly as she looked up at the night sky. "Kitten, this is something that they have to work out amongst themselves. Even if they try, they might not be able to."

"But we've all been through so much together." Merrilll frowned. "They should trust each other by now. I know I trust all of you."

A smile passed briefly over Isabela's mouth as she took a side-street. "Not everyone's like you. Just give it time. Who knows what'll happen…"

Deciding that despite the fact she had spent several years in Kirkwall already, Merrill would never fully understand human social etiquette. As they went on, she finally relented and acquiesced to Isabela's guidance and wisdom and figured it would be better to allow Hawke and Fenris to sort this out themselves.

The next evening, Marian Hawke sat reading. Or at least, she tried. The volume of Orlesian history, something she normally found fascinating, had sat open in her lap on the same page for at least half an hour now. As interesting as cutthroat Orlesian nobles were, she couldn't stop thinking about Fenris.

How could he even think that she would begin to think what was done to him was acceptable? Did Fenris truly believe she would even ponder using her own magic in such a fashion? After all, dispatching mercenaries who clearly knew what they were getting into was far different than enslaving someone against their will.

Right?

A knock on the door interrupted her "reading."

Dammit. It was probably Anders again. He always came to her with new schemes and plots. Just because she was a mage didn't mean she automatically agreed with everything he said, something that had failed to penetrate the mage's skull for several years now.

"Bodahn! Would you mind?"

The knock came again, and she suddenly remembered that the two dwarves were out for the evening. Orana was also absent, having traveled to the market alone for the first time since her arrival. While Hawke regarded it as a crucial step in the elf's social development, it also meant the elf would probably also be gone for a while. Grumbling to herself about the mage revolution, she stood and walked to the door.

"I swear Anders, I will not be roped up in anymore of your 'ideas!'"

As she opened the door, she stopped. It wasn't the mage that stood in front of her, but Fenris. His posture was limp and his dark eyes troubled as he looked up at her.

"I came to talk to you," he said quietly.

Truth be told, Hawke wasn't sure if she was ever going to see him again after yesterday evening. As she gave him a once-over, she realized that he wasn't carrying a weapon. That didn't mean he wasn't dangerous, but he hadn't come over with the intention of being hostile, so warily, she stood aside to let him in.

"I won't be long." Fenris glanced at Hawke as she closed the door. "I just wanted to apologize to you. About yesterday."

"I'm listening…"

"It…it wasn't fair to say those things to you." The elf glanced down at the floor. Doing this was clearly difficult for him. "You've helped me more than anyone else has. Being a mage doesn't change that."

"I'm glad to hear that…But I've also been doing something thinking." Hawke sighed as she sat down in the chair and watched Fenris. "It's easy to forget how powerful I am. You're also right. I need to keep myself in check. I value my freedom, but I don't ever want to end up like the mages in Tevinter."

She suppressed a shudder at the thought and looked back up at Fenris. For a moment she thought she saw a fleeting smile pass across his face. But it must've been her imagination, because the next, he had returned to his usual stoic self.

"Now that that's over with, I have things to do," Fenris said, finally breaking the silence. "But know that I'll be ready whenever you need me."

"I appreciate that. I think Isabella needed help with something pretty soon, actually," Hawke smiled as she stood back up to open the door

"When doesn't she?" As Fenris spoke, opened the door, and stepped outside, she watched him.

"Thank you," Hawke spoke sincerely.

Fenris turned around. The ghost of a smile appeared once again, and this time she knew she had caught him in the act.

"Thank _you_," he said. And then he was gone, but as Hawke returned to her study, she grinned. No matter how many times he left, he would always come back. She was sure of it.


End file.
